“Don’t call me ma’am, call me Senator” is destined to become one of those words or phrases that echo the amazing sentiment of American culture and spirit. Still, the entire situation could have been avoided had everyone in the room contained their emotions and operated with the class and dignity of a regular “Miss Manners.”

Any personnel, military or otherwise, should be aware of the sensitive demands and apparent volcanic repercussions of a misuse of manners. Now do I believe that the general who muttered this is, in fact, some sort of insensitve high ranking official that ordinarily dismisses opposing views, or ones from people he considers unimportant?

No.

But this whole situation could have been avoided had the general simply used common sense and manners.

1. When dealing with individuals who have a title (a judge, a president, a senator, a general, etc) or even a rank, it is proper (especially in a proper setting) to address the person by their professional title, rather than a generic “sir” or “madam”. So General David Petraeus becomes “General” or “General Petraeus”, Mr. President, or even “Senator”. Madam Senator may also be used as appropriate.
2. A firm handshake, no matter the sex, is always the preferred form of welcome or introduction in the American and Anglo culture. This is of course different from other cultures across the world. So if you travel abroad on vacation or business take the time to get to know the local customs. (Example, Japanese people still bow. Other cultures rely ont he hug, or simple kiss.)
3. When in doubt about what to call someone, it is acceptable to ask them. “What would you prefer to be called?” or “How may I address you?” are acceptable probing questions to find out what will not offend the individual you are dealing with.
4. Large congregations can be tricky, especially if the group of people contains a multitude of people who are of different backgrounds, sex, age, etc. It is best to approach the situation by calling the group “panel”, “audience”, or something of the like. When addressing individuals on the panel, however, use rule #1.